Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What shouldn't you Google?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

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Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Be who you already are.

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are like me, then.

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So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s here now, writing to you.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

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The sadness was still there.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What is truer than that which is true?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

I was tired of fighting.

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I had run out of hope.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

We now told, by Senator Grassley, that on the FBI form about the Biden bribery story, there is a Burisma exec who says he has 17 tapes of his deal with the Biden. 15 of Hunter and 2 of Joe Biden? What would this do to Hunter/Joe Biden if released?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

And the sadness?